this came out suddenly...

I forgot WHAT I wrote on my notebook..whoa..memory loss there.. It's not a poem though but its kinda like expressing my emotions but in a long sentence way. Weird aye? So..here it goes..


The truth is...

I am a lonely girl who desires to love someone and be loved by that someone.

A girl with a crack across her heart. She doesn't want attention, she just want...

A moment that she could make it last forever,

A moment where she wants to be with a person she truly love,

A moment where she can put an unpretentiousness smile on her face,

A moment where she can treasure it forever.

As she sat down alone,

Virgin tears falls down from her eyes,

Tears of loneliness,

Tears of a shattered heart.

She waits for the day to come,

but still, nothing.

She whispered to herself,

"That day will never come, it doesn't exist".

She sat alone, 

looking down,

as closes her eyes,

feels the wind around her,

looking up to the sky slowly opens her eyes and weakly breaths out...

"Goodbye World"

Then she lay there...breathless...

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER, I SCRIBBLE THESE WORDS IN MY NOTEBOOK O.O

What happen when you finished your literature test early xD

So today was our literature test, it was a 2 hours test, 2 essays. So as usual, finished the essay..but this time it was an hour early. I was looking out the window though, suddenly someone came into my mind. Not going to say who, but I have been liking this person for quite sometime. I was scribbling some stuff on my other paper, when I realized it, I was writing a poem because of that particular person. The poem goes like this..

You Are My Angel

Sitting here thinking,

My heart is sinking,

Looking out the window,

You came into my mind.

A smile were put on this face,

A feeling of an ace,

Thinking of you makes me calm,

Don't ever leave my mind.

A feeling that I feel,

My wounds are healed,

You made this possible,

I'm grateful for meeting you.

Talking to you is all I want,

Being with you is all I need,

Uttering these words from my heart,

You are my angel.

I gave away my first kiss to the wrong person. Stupid aye? :/

So the story begins when I met this girl on facebook, well she added me first. I don't really know her though and neither do she know me. And we chat on facebook last year and trade numbers. First I thought, who is this girl? I asked my friends if they know her and the answer was NO. *facepalm* We text and text, talked on the phone and somehow, who knows who like who? Major confusion about that. Sorry. She says she likes me. I was like "okay" then I thought, Jaceyy, just go with the flow. For me, she's a very 'manja' person, let me talk this part in bahasa: sikit-sikit mau merajuk, dah dipujuk, masi merajuk. So I have to ring her and calm her down. Okay, what happen was last night, she text me suddenly and said she wants to go out and have a drink. I said okay then meet up at Vertigo (seriously wants to bring my friends there after our allowance are out coz that place is EPIC). She brought some friends with her and I brought my cousin along. So we meet up at Vertigo, I have to admit this, when I saw her with her outfit>>> *jawdrop* whoa! Sexy! Yeah, I'm the dirty thoughts behind your mind. She was wearing this kinda tube dress, and her bazookas were half revealing. *shakes head then slap face* Jaceyy! Focus! We enter the bistro, holding each other's hand, sit down and 2 jugs of beer. Yum! The atmosphere was epic! The music, I can say you can totally shake what your mama gave ya! Yes, seriously. So after couple of glasses and conversations then she suddenly look at me and said "I want a kiss". God knows how I feel at that time, my face were like this O.o then I said to her "What? Wait, you mean now?" Then she said seriously "Yes, now. Here" Astaga! In front of my cousin again that, they don't know that I'm not straight! Geez! Her friends pun were looking at me. I was seriously shy at that time, she leans close to me, closes her eyes and waiting for me to kiss her. Oh hell no, both of my cousins were beside me, looking at me confused. Then I said to her, "later la, not here" My gosh she's very demanding, "No, I want here now." My heart was seriously beating fast! She was really demanding so I bring her to a corner of the place. She leans on the world, looking at my eyes. Gosh woman, I'm not going to do you, its just a kiss. Yes, a kiss, thats what I thought it was. Still I was still shy and then again she said, "please". Ah okay! I lean close to her, I kissed her, like I said, I thought it was just a KISS. BUT IT WASN'T! She french kissed me!! AAHHMAIGOSHHHH!!! Twas so awkward! To be honest, I did enjoy it a bit but it was really awkward! I can feel her tongue..gah! Nevermind! See the picture there? Thats how we kissed and it was a 5 second thing. But my favourite part is after we kissed, I hold her close to me, she lays on my chest and I lay on her shoulder, kissed her shoulder again. Those moment, as if we're a couple. FYI we're not and I think I won't be seeing her again.

*sigh* I feel upset giving away my first kiss to her. Because I think that I won't be seeing her again. I don't know. She seemed not interested in being with me and I feel so awkward being with her. But she's kinda straight though. I don't think she wants to be with me. But her friend said "she likes you, go dance with her" not to mention, her friend is also demanding. You don't force people to do something that they don't want to. Haha! *sigh* depends on her then, if she wants to text, text and if she doesn't want then its up to her. I'm always up for another outing but not another kiss. Major awkwardness! 

My recent poem that I recently write :)T

Sitting Here Feeling Empty

In this cold surrounding,

Thinking about fighting,

The pain is excruciating,

I always end up losing.

Wondering what went wrong,

Making you say goodbye,

That word hurts my soul,

This is all a foul.

Its breaking me down more,

When you're not here,

Knowing that you'll never be back,

Leaving me here, broken.

I have nothing to say,

Just remembering the happy times,

Without you then its just me,

Sitting here feeling empty.

omg! Its been a long time Mr.Blog :P

Pew pew! OMG! when is the last time I write a blog? *looks around* umm..nah, nevermind. So new year aye? Hmm..lots of changes I presume? New class..new attitude..new hair? Yes new hair. How new? My emo bangs is gone..now its all short. My sister said from an emo to a korean and she kept calling me Asian. Wtf sis? I am an asian, you look MORE asian! :P But I miss my emo hair though..I wonder if it could grow back before TESL night..hehe. Oh by the way, I wrote another poem, a depressing poem in fact, I'll post it later :) xx