Omaigosh! What?! No!

So, today is my grandma's 70th birthday..all of the family gather together which sums up to 200 people. Yeah, that much. Oh btw, its 2.05am, the exact time I'm writing this blog. Okay, most shocking moment ever, my ex text me. No, not Jessica, but my other ex. MY EX-GUY! ALERT! EX! GUY! A GUY! hahahah, shocker. Well, me and him did get together, we both live in P'pang. But guess what? We only got together for 3 DAYS! Why? Oh come, like I said, I can't be in love with guys. So, he text me today, we began to text, well, I ask him to come to the party but he's shy. Oh well. We did meet for a while though, I have to walk like few meters away from the house just to meet him. It was our first meeting too. I think I'm taller than him, hah! LOL! oh, its 2.10am! Hehe! Continue on, my gosh it was so awkward meeting him. After the meet, well, he began to text and call me. Replied text but a call? Man I don't know what to say. I don't know how to communicate with guys other than my cousins or my close friends.

The reasons why I broke up with him are:

• He's a guy. I'm gay, so.. nada.
• It's too awkward
• When I'm with him, he text like every second.
• He calls everyday, I don't know what to say if we text then he called.
• I don't want to break his heart knowing that I can't like/love him.

Hmm..well, I did broke his heart though when I broke up with him. I feel so wrong and now I feel more wrong than ever if he keeps on texting or calling me. I can't deal with this any longer. For all I know, all I want  is Jessica to be with me again. I only want her. But I guess, she never want to talk to me again, guess that she found someone else *sigh*

should I? *A queer's thought*

So, I've been living my life for 19 years now. I'm still alive and I thank God for letting me live this long although I've tried to take it myself on some occasions. Lets put the past behind yeah? So, like I said I discovered that I'm not straight since I'm 13 years old. But I'm still confuse at that time. To this day, I am now positive about myself that I'm gay. Living in a homophobic society is hard because people around here are different from people from other countries. Most people here are, well, how shall I put this, conservative? Yes, most people here are conservative. Only few that I know are open-minded. Keeping this secret is difficult especially from your own family. Yes, family. In front of them, I have to pretend to be someone else which I hate when this happens. Its hard to talk about this, about me and what I've been going through. To be honest, I can't like guys, in terms that I can't fall in love with them. I like guys just as friends but not fall in love. But for girls, I fall for girls fast. I can't stand keeping this secret anymore, especially from my family. I don't want to live my life being someone who is not me. I'm happy for being who I am, I chose my life to be like this. But what I don't understand is, why people can't accept it? *sigh* I love my family, I really do but I really want that they can accept me for who I am. I'm not forcing them but it would be nice if they learn to accept it slowly. I'm thinking about this for a long time, thinking of telling them. The only problem is that I'm afraid it would bring this family down. I can't bring myself to that situation. Should I tell them? Should I come out to them? Should I? 

I'm done with everything!

So, I just got an email from Jessica and she said that we're done. She said that she sent me emails but I didn't even get one fucking email! She said we should be friends, well fuck that! Friends? We're not even talking! How can we ever be friends?! She said I deserved better?! WHY THE FUCK YOU EVEN SAID THAT?! All I want is to be with you and you want to be friends?! Coz of I didn't get your emails?! This wouldn't happen if you didn't delete me off your friend's list, where we can talk there instead of emailing where the emails sometimes didn't get through and we can't receive it. ALL I WANT FOR YOU IS TO TRUST ME AS I HAVE TRUST YOU! But shit happens, it wasn't meant to be. Besides Vanessa, this is the most ever hurtful thing thats ever happen to me. You know what? I'M DONE WITH EVERYTHING! FUCK IT! 

The Mortician's Daughter [this song actually makes me cry]

Seriously this song really does makes me cry, The Mortician's Daughter by Black Veils Bride.
Here are the lyrics...


I open my lungs dear
I sing this song at funerals...no rush.
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.
A baby boy you've held so tightly, this pain it visits almost nightly
Missing hotel beds I feel your touch.


I will wait dear, a patient of eternity, my crush
A universal still.
No rust.
No dust will ever grow in this frame, 
one million years I will say your name.
I love you more than I can ever scream.


We booked our flight those years ago,
I said I love you as I left you.
Regrets still haunt my hollow head, but I promised you I will see you again, again.


I sit here and smile dear
I smile because I think of you and blush.
These bleeding hollow dials...this fuss.
A fuss is made of miles and travels when roadways are but stones and gravel.
A bleeding heart and conquer every crutch.


We booked our flight those years ago
you said you loved me as you left me. Regrets still haunt your saddened head but I promised you I will see you, 
We booked our flight those years ago 
I said I loved you and I left you
Regrets no longer in my head, 
I promised you and now I'm home again, again, again, again, again.


I'm home again. 

Confuse between two souls :(

Have you ever had the feelings where you're confuse between two people? I mean confuse as in you're not sure which one to like/love. I'm having that feeling now. Between who? Between Jessica and the girl I met on twitter, Kimberly. *sigh* I love Jessica, I really do but I don't get why we don't talk anymore. She never email me back or call me. I emailed her many times but there's just no reply back from her. It makes me think that does she really want to be with me? Have she been playing with my feelings all this time? I think too much until I dreamed about her few days ago. It was more like a nightmare. I dreamed that she was married to this guy. To a guy?! Now thats just wrong..coz she's..well a lesbian. And our son, Gabriel, she lied to me about that and it turns out the baby was hers and the guy. That dream look so real, I literally cry. And if you vice versa the dream, she would be married to a girl and the baby is theirs. OMG! This is so sad. Arghhh! I hate crying! I feel like I'm going to lose her soon, or I'm already losing her. Gah! Jace, don't think too much! Moving on to Kimberly, I met her on twitter, she followed me first. We start really talking in September during my college break. We talked about cigs and stuff. But as days passed, we started to flirt. It was just a silly flirting but it kinda build up to something. For me, I kinda started to like her for real. She's a Sarawakian though. So, I came up with this idea and ask her to be my gf for a week and boy that was the best one week of my life. We continue though..she told me that she really like me. I don't know if she really mean it or not. OMG I GOTTA TAKE THAT BARCARDI BOTTLE UP IN THE SHELF, I NEED A SHOT! Lol, sorry that was random but I really need at least one shot. Ooh ooh, I saw someone's bio and she state that GO OUT AND GET LAID. I was on twitter while blogging, hehe. Ok, back to my situation. I'm so confuse now..I'm emotionally attached to both. I can't be with Kim because she has a boyfriend and I might not be with Jessica because she lives in Tennessee. THE BIG PROBLEM IS..WHY CAN'T I FIND SOMEONE WHO IS NEAR TO ME..LIKE IN SABAH FOR INSTANCE??? Ugh! I hate this feelings. But, i'm pretty sure that I want to be with Jessica and only her. I really love her more than anything in this world. *sigh* it feels like I'm giving up. Let's just see what happen.... 

He makes me go "awwww" and left me in "awe" ;)

Lol @ my blog title. So "he", I mean, Andrew Dennis Biersack or more famous known as Andy Sixx. If you're into any post-hardcore music and this awesome amazing dude is from the band Black Veil Brides. They're awesome! Seeing all his pictures..OMG! I'm like, I wish you were in my pants. LOL! Got me drooling..whatafack?! Hahahahaha! I mean, look at him! One word, FLAWLESS! His eyes are mesmerizing, his lips..aww, I want to bite his lip ring! GAWD! Jace is horny! Hahahaha! Lol jk jk. But he is one..dayummmm! 

And this one with the war paint. Awesome right? Though I can't even do that, Imma try it later. Hahaha! He looks so..ahhhhh! AMAZINGLY AWESOME AMAZING! I can't get enough of him! His music are also awesome! I'm downloading it now. Wooo! :D

And this is Black Veil Brides :D

I feel like I'm losing you...

This is the part where I don't like being like this. Depression. A word that kills 70% of the people in this God forsaken world. I admit, I hate being like this but I can't help it. Do you know the girl that I'm in love with? Jessica. Yes, her. My wifey. Well, I don't know about that much anymore. You see, it all started when things started to fall apart when I didn't pick up her calls. Then she started questioning about our relationship. Then I explained to her why and things got better. For a while. And she got into an accident which really kinda make our relationship a bit rough. Then I questioned her about our relationship. There begin our first argument. Then after talk here and there, things got a bit better. And what makes it better is that she told me that she adopt a baby boy and named him Gabriel Michael. I was happy that she adopted him and being with her, that baby would be my son. So, days and days passed, and guess what, SHE ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING! I was like what the eff?! She said that someone told her that I did. We broke up for 3 days. I feel like forever! So I keep on emailing her telling her that I didn't cheat and told her that I love her so much. So after 3 days, she called me and boy I was emotional on the phone. I told her that I wanted to be with her and only her and I want her to be my wife. She said she's not going anywhere and want to be my wife. I was so happy to hear her saying that. On that day, we got back together. We emailed then again after few days, she never email back nor call me or anything. And now, we haven't talk for nearly to weeks. Do you know how hurtful it is?! I'm missing her so much! I just want to know if she's okay and I need explanation what happen. I FRIGGIN MISS YOU JESSICA AND I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING YOU! I really can feel it. I don't want to lose you again. I lose you once but never ever again. I don't care what people think of us, I just want to be with you. You're my everything, I just want you and my life would be complete. I don't want anymore from this world, I just want you. Ughh, enough of this shit, I'm giving us another week and if there's still nothing, I'm letting everything go and its going to be hard and hurtful. Its because, I really don't want to lose you. I love you, Jessica. I wish you'd know that. I love you so much.

Proud to Be For Who I Am

And my last post was about me being gay. Don't know whats the meaning of gay? It means Homosexual. People don't use homosexual anymore, they use gay to describe a homosexual person. So, wanna know a lil bit about me? Firstly, I'm gay. Secondly, I've been a gay for about 5 years now. I was bi-curious when I was 13 to 14. Since I can't be in love with guys, well, means I'm gay. But I adore guys okay, just not fall in love with them. I ADORE GAY GUYS! Seriously I do, since they don't like girls, and I don't fall in love with guys, no one will get pregnant and none will make anyone pregnant. See, thats a plus for being gay. Plus, my parents still doesn't know that I'm gay though. Coming out to them is going to be really hard as my parents plus my whole family are religious especially my grandparents and they all live in a world of conservation. So, I decided to keep this secret and wait for the right time to tell them. Its best to tell them rather they found out themselves right? A friend of mine advised me to tell when I'm already working and have my own house. Well, I think thats a good idea. At least, if they disowned me, I have a place and financial security to support myself. Oh God, I just hope that disowning part won't happen. I know my parents would be rage and disappoint in me because they might think that they didn't raise me well. Well, they did. I'm well educated and I'm going to be a teacher. I also know its going to be hard for them to accept me for who I am but its me. I'm me. I just can't seem to understand why people are against LGBT people. I mean that we are for who we are. We don't go around telling people to be like us or anything. It's our choice to be like this. Its my choice to be like this, its my life, and I know whats best for me and I think being gay is whats good for me. I know who reads this will be in total shock but my hope for you is for you to accept me for who I am and that would mean so much to me. When I was in matriks, the first person that I told that I was gay was my friend, Stephanie, and to my surprise, she's okay with me and would rather me being gay. She's not gay though, but she accepted for who I am. And so here goes the list the people that I told, Sharon, Steffi, Candice, Dora, Zell, Nana, Gracie, Shasha, Audrey and Lorraine [cousins], Jana [bro ex-gf] and my brother kinda know and he accepted me. How do I know? I chat with his ex-gf and told her bout me so she said "your bro knows you are and he said he support you all the way"..that made me cry and seriously happy. I'm glad that my brother accepted me for who I am. You know, living in a place where there are homophobic everywhere is really hard, since I have to pretend to be someone thats not me. I HATE IT! I keep asking and asking, why do everyone can't just accept the fact that we, gays/lesbians/bi, are happy being for who we are? Sometimes I just feel like shouting, LEAVE US ALONE, WE ARE HAPPY AND PROUD FOR WHO WE ARE, CAN YOU PEOPLE BE MATURE FOR ONCE?! *sigh* To be honest, I've cut myself because of this and now I realized that fuck all the homophobes, I'm happy and they can't bring me down! And so you see the happy cheery Jaceyy, loving and living life to the fullest. I feel relieve writing this all, I just wished that I can say this to my parents. I'm a christian, and according to the bible, being gay is a sin. I know that, and I'm still happy being like this and I'm sure, God loves me. I feel sorry for those who commit suicide coz of homophobic bullied them. I don't want that to happen anymore. I know..I believe that this world would change someday and accept us and me for who we are and the world would get along just fine. 

LASTLY, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY...

I'M GAY

AND I'M PROUD TO BE FOR WHO I AM

I WILL NOT CHANGE FOR ANYONE!

p/s: If you're reading this, and you accepted me for who I am, I thank you so much for being a good friend. And for those who feel disgusted and hate me after reading this, you have your own opinion right? I can't change your mind but I hope you will someday.

Coming Out to this blog, I'm not afraid to say that I'm Proud to be for Who I Am

Rainbow Colors is ANOTHER way for God to say...


it's OKAY to be GAY! :D


I'm proud to be who and what I am now, I'm gay and I love being one, I don't care what people is going to talk about me, thrashing behind my back and stuff, but one thing for sure, being gay is the most happy decision that i've made so far. Woohoo!

I HAVE MY PRIDE AND I'M PROUD FOR WHO I AM!

another poem from my archive..but this one is depressing..

So, I decided to post another poem from my archive but BE WARNED, this one is depressing. I remember when I wrote this when I was depressed..lets see, oh this year..June..hmm..I remember that I was depressed because of..ah..relationship. WHAT THE FUCK?! ITS ALWAYS ABOUT RELATIONSHIP! Ah, what the hell, let me just post this poem here aye? :)

Falling Fragment of Feelings

When I close my eyes,

All I see is darkness,

When I open my eyes,

All I see is plain white walls,

Filled with nothing but a feeling of loneliness,

Empty.

Feeling of sorrow,

Overwhelming my entire body,

With bloodshed tears,

Flowing from this sad eyes,

Left dangling in the abyss,

Despair.

With this knife,

Let it cut through my veins,

With this dagger,

Thrust it deeply into my heart,

Let the blood flows and tainted the ground,

Suffer.

Take my heart and tore it,

Tore it in front of me,

Then look into this eyes filled with anguish,

Leave me to die and rot,

Let the earth bury this rotten body,

Forgotten.

not my day :'(

So, today is not my day. Why everyone is blaming me and keep putting me down? Especially my own family? I feel so unwanted :'( I don't want to go back to that fucked up path. Oh wait, yeah..its October! Damn it! Damn October! Why do you have to be so fucked up to me?! First my family..then my girl, Jessica. I got an email from her yesterday, I sent her pics and message for our 1st Month Anniversary and guess what she replied? "I love you too baby", thats her reply. I'm happy to got her email, its not that I don't appreciate or something but after what I sent her, and I only got that reply. But at least I know that she still loves me. But..I know there's always a "but", I got a feeling again. Does she really love me? I know I shouldn't questioned this, but I need to know. She's my everything and I can't risk of losing her. I want her in my life, more than anything. I want to raise Gabriel together with her, I want her to be my wife. I know its against the law, but love knows no rule, it doesn't matter who you love as long the love is true and honest. *sigh* I shouldn't be like this, I hate this feeling. I can't breathe well, feels like I'm drowning. Okay, calm down Jace. Think positive. And so, this poem came into my mind, wrote it down and came out like this.

I Wish To Close My Eyes

Sitting on this chair,

Feeling of remorse,

What a stench in the air,

Sadness kicks in.

Things that I look here,

All are just blurry,

With a hiss of slurry,

I feel like a whore.

Why is so hard?

To put a smile on this face,

Going through this pace,

It's killing me inside.

I fucked everything up,

Every little thing in life,

I messed it all up,

I can't turn back.

My heart aches,

I feel breathless,

Drowning in my own tears,

I wish to close my eyes.

another poem was made coz of someone..

Okay, so there's this person on twitter..well I have a crush on her. Last friday, I told her about my feelings and it turns out she have a crush on me too. Now, why I didn't notice that? She said she gave me hints..LOL! I suck at hints. I know..LAME. So me and her agree to be a couple for a week. Twitter couple to be specific :) but it seems like my feelings grew? This can't be! Because I have a girlfriend and I miss her dearly. I don't know what happened, she never call me and I can't seem to call her. OMG! Another negative thought O_O GET OUT! Okay back to my twitter girl, so I wrote this poem for her and will give this to her on sunday which is our last day being together as a couple.

The Person That I've Fallen For

So this story begins,

I'm not sure how to start,

Meeting you was something,

It made my heart pounding.

I was not sure at first,

But as days passed,

This feeling grew stronger,

I can't deny it much longer.

You caught my attention,

I would never have imagine,

For this feelings towards you,

And I know it is true.

Missing you was unstoppable,

Every time you crossed my mind,

The feeling of happiness grew,

You made me smile.

 For a week being together,

It feels like forever,

Every moment are treasured,

You mean so much to me,

Because it was you,

The person that I've fallen for.

its all alright now...

So couple days back, me and Jess argued and kinda broke off for 2 days. The reason is because someone told her that I cheated. Which I didn't. So I gave her space for 2 days and yesterday she called me, so we talk about it. I talked to her that I didn't even cheated on her and beg me to take me back. She said that she's not going anywhere and told me that she loves me. And...she finally uses our son. You might freak out haha, she adopted a son and yeah, he's our kid :) Our son's name is Gabriel Michael. Aww, I love my baby girl :')

and our 1st Month Anniversary is almost near. 

what is happening between us?

Okay, its been a while but since Jessica got into that accident we seem to fall apart. And yesterday I asked her a stupid question and might be one of the reason we fall apart. I hate this. So, December with her is so not going to come. So much for being happy for once in my life. She told me yesterday that she adopted a baby and named him Gabriel Michael. She's the mom, i'm with her, so I'm the parent too? I don't know. With this situation, I don't know anymore. So, I've got a feeling that me and her are going to be over soon. I could die..ughh! Same thing happen to October last year, you know, with Vanessa. Its such a coincidence that is October now and this happen. OKAY, I HATE OCTOBER AND THATS FINAL! I have a MUET test tomorrow and this thing is so bothering me :'( I'm stressing out here! I just need explanation from her. I need her to tell me that she doesn't care anymore, she doesn't feel the same way anyway, tell me she doesn't love me anymore then i'll be on my way leaving for good. Only if she intends to say that all. But I got a feeling of it. Dammit! I'm so sad! I hate being sad, I hate crying, I hate being like this! :'(

Another one from my poetry archive :)

So, I was going through my poetry archives and ah! I found a poem that I finished about 2 days ago. So, here is is....

Care To Explain That?

Well its hard to explain,

But I'll try if you let me,

What have I gotten this time around,

I would never want it to fade away.

I've never seen a smile that can light

The room like yours,

It's simply radiant,

I feel more with everyday that goes by,

You're an angel in disguise.

Each day passed by,

Everytime I looked at you,

The feeling inside me goes 'whoa',

Care to explain that?

Okay, I know this is not my best one, but at least I've tried right? I've been improving myself day by day and I hope it goes well for me. I'll keep on posting new poems and old poems in my archive. Until then, thank you for reading :)

What happen? You'll know..

So, as day passed by, I met this new girl, Jessica. We've known each other for 2 weeks now. Guess what? I'm in a relationship with her. You see here, she's different from any other girl that I know. I mean like, she treats me differently and she plans to come here and spend time with me. Of all the girls I've ever been with, never said this to me and yet I can see her effort in this relationship. She calls me, emailed me and worried if I don't answer her calls or anything. But last tuesday when I didn't answer her calls, things started to fall apart. She started to question about my feelings to her which I think its well, bothers me. I don't know. I love her so much, with all my heart, with all my life, I want to be with her, only her and no one else. As for Nicole, I don't know about this, we don't talk much anymore. I really don't know what she feels about me. But the way Jessica made me feel, I can feel it, she took my breath away and she left me in awe. I hope our relationship stays forever, coz if I lose her, I will seriously die, I would never ever want to lose her. And I wrote poem for her.

Everytime My Heart Beats

As day passed by,

I looked at the sky,

Seeing birds flying high,

Feeling happy without deny.

I looked out my window,

Staring at the meadow,

Wind blowing towards my face,

I was in gaze.

My heart beats fast,

As you came into my mind,

Radiant as ever,

An image will stay forever.

Flawless in everything I see,

You took my breath away,

Even the sea can't tear us apart,

You're everything to me.

This is no ordinary love,

Our love will stay forever true,

Just you and me,

We'll be together always and forever.

I love you so much Jessica,

You're all I need in my life,

I feel you in me,

Every time my heart beats.

another poem ~Reminds Me Of You

Thanks for reading :)

Title: Reminds me of You.

Sadness dwells inside me,

In the depths of my soul,

What is the use of me waiting?

For someone that will

Never be mine.

Every day I think and think,

Do you ever love me?

As I have love you?

Sadness grew stronger,

Deep inside this heart.

Watching the clouds in the sky,

Birds flying and chirping happily,

But why is this heart,

Feeling so sad?

Raindrops falling on my head,

I felt coldness in my heart,

Virgin tears falling down from my eyes,

A world without love.

I walk on this soil,

Soil of sadness,

With a weak heart,

I try to run from your side,

But it only reminds me of you.

I write poems and I photograph :) [2]

Okays, this are the pics that I took and I personally love them :)

Esther..Esther..I told her to walk like normal
and she walk like a model.

After several of fail emo pose and lastly a successful pose!

I took this "candidly" and my came out nice! :)

took this picture without she realizing it..love it!

I write poems and I photograph :)

Yesterday was..wait.. AWESOME! My class and I went to the beach to celebrate our friends birthday, ahahaha..kegilaan tahap maksima! So, I took some pics, still brushing up my photographing skills so yeah, here are some of the pics and later i'll upload the pics that I personally love :D

Model of the sea :3

everyone jump!

wooowiiiee!

Mr. Sun, we love you!

Awesome people!

I've completed it! :D

okay, so I've finally COMPLETED (30.8.2010) the poem which I'm stuck on since last night. I finally found the right words. Sorry, I know this is not my best, but i'm going to post it anyway. I'll keep on improving, I know I will. Meanwhile, I'll just write my heart out. Express myself to the world, and just be free from anything. So this is the poem.

Title: Memoir

What a cold night,

I don't if the time is right,

There are no stars in the skies,

I wonder why?

Staring at the ceiling,

Found that it's empty,

Just plain white walls,

Makes my heart falls.

The cool breeze from outside,

Touches my skin,

Put all my worries aside,

I smiled.

This heart beats for a reason,

With no worries and treason,

Somewhere in the world,

I know there's someone who will give me reason to live.

xoxo,

Jaceyy

hmmm..

Okay, so tomorrow is the holiday..Merdeka!

I don't know why but I feel so ALONE...I mean, I haven't talk to Nicole for 4/5 days now. I don't know if she's busy with something or anything. Even no message in facebook or in my msn. I'm starting to think, does she really love me or not? Seriously, I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT AGAIN. I remember when I got hurt last time, my oh my, its so ugly. Cut here and there. And now, when I look at the scars on my arms, reminds me of my black past. I like the color black though, but not when I'm hurt. This girl in twitter is flirting with me. I know she's just flirting and IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! Oh while I was blogging this, Tasha message me on msn, damn it, I forget to set my msn to offline mode. For you info, Tasha is my ex. The ex where she still like and loves me. *sigh* Okay, back to this, I really love Nicole though, but it seems like she don't make an effort out of us. Yeah, its a long distant relationship, its hard to keep up but I'm trying my best here. *sigh long* Oh well, I don't want to think about this too much. So, last night, I wrote another poem but it wasn't complete yet. I could find the right words to put it together. When I'm done, I'll post it here. And basically, Twitter is my life now. Facebook is boring to me, I don't interact much with people there. I'm waiting for this girl to come online on twitter. Yeah, we flirt but once again, IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! I'll just go with the flow, she flirts, I flirt back. Its fun to talk to her friends too, I mean they're all awesome. Have to wait tonight then. So, I feel bored and lonely. Its almost night here and I'm waiting for the stars to come out. Oh, did you know how much I love stars? They're so lovely and I like them. Two more hours to go and then hello stars! Better get going now, I feel like having a smoke outside. So, TTYL!

xoxo,

Jaceyy

That Girl

Okay, I wrote this poem well at class today during literature. My lecturer asked us to write our poems based on the Themes that we presented for our other unseen poems. Basically, my group poem was on Nature, Self-Awareness and Finding Oneself. So I picked the theme on Finding Oneself and this poem was created.
p/s: We need to present each of our poems to the whole class next week.

Title: That Girl

A girl walked through the grey pavements,

Finding herself among the wilderness,

She doesn't understand who she were,

Looking for herself here and there.

While walking on the crooked path,

She got a sense of despair,

With no one walking with her through the path,

She breathes loneliness in the air.

When she looked up into the sky,

Dark and gloomy scene brought sadness to her eyes,

She stomped her feet to the ground,

Walking away with a frown.

That girl walking all by herself,

With tears flowing down from her eyes,

Hearing the thunder roaring in the sky,

She cursed and just walked pass by.

That girl is feeling lonely,

That girl is sad,

There's an empty feeling in her heart,

That girl is me.

xoxo,

Jaceyy

This is what happen in the middle of a night/morning

I wrote this one at 1.11 AM, while I was seating near my bed and think of that someone. On 27th August 2010 at that time, a poem was born.

Title: Don't You See That I Love You?

When the moments fly,

I looked up in the sky,

Saw your name written on it,

I couldn't believe my eyes.

This heart have been waiting for so long,

For you to come along,

 I wait this day to come,

And now you're here and welcomed.

You've filled the empty space in my heart,

And I know we will never be apart,

You and I share the same feeling,

It shall be forever and willing.

What I feel towards you is true,

I can't deny it anymore,

My heart is beating for you,

Don't you see that I love you?

xoxo,

Jaceyy

13th August 2009

I wrote this poem as stated in the date above. I was in class at that time and kinda feeling down. Here it goes...

Title: Breathless

Walking this path leads to nowhere

The skies growl above

Thunders crashing there and here

With the feeling of anger

I looked down to the ground

Walking with my head down

With a feeling of sadness in me

I cursed this world for being so cruel

So cruel that it hurts me inside

I cursed, “Damn you!”

As I walked on the grey pavements

With a face filled with sorrow

Tears flooded my eyes

Flowing down through my cheeks

Bloody tears

I stopped and stand on the ground

Drowned in my own tears

Gasping for air

Feeling weak inside me

Breathless

xoxo,

Jaceyy

27th August 2010

Wrote this poem with the date stated above. This is what I feel at that time.


Title: Found Myself Alone


Walking alone this dark and worn path,
With no sense and feeling hope,
Without light that shone through it,
Darkness leads my way.


A path full of crooked trees,
Stepping on the grey solemn pavements,
Walking with my head down,
Virgin tears falling down from these eyes.


Winds whispered its sound of sadness,
The leaves and dust blown away,
Clearing out my path,
I walked with the wind of sadness.


Lighting roaring in the sky,
Making the sky sounds angry,
I walked through this wilderness,
Found myself alone.


xoxo,
Jaceyy

Heyy *waves*

Hey there. So I started a new blog. My other one was kinda old...WAIT! No..it is kinda personal. So I made a new one. But in this blog, its different from my other one. In this blog, I will mostly post my poems that I wrote. TIME TO GET CREATIVE! I figure out, rather than just sitting around being bored, might as well write a poem and post it on my blog. Life updated.