So, I've been living my life for 19 years now. I'm still alive and I thank God for letting me live this long although I've tried to take it myself on some occasions. Lets put the past behind yeah? So, like I said I discovered that I'm not straight since I'm 13 years old. But I'm still confuse at that time. To this day, I am now positive about myself that I'm gay. Living in a homophobic society is hard because people around here are different from people from other countries. Most people here are, well, how shall I put this, conservative? Yes, most people here are conservative. Only few that I know are open-minded. Keeping this secret is difficult especially from your own family. Yes, family. In front of them, I have to pretend to be someone else which I hate when this happens. Its hard to talk about this, about me and what I've been going through. To be honest, I can't like guys, in terms that I can't fall in love with them. I like guys just as friends but not fall in love. But for girls, I fall for girls fast. I can't stand keeping this secret anymore, especially from my family. I don't want to live my life being someone who is not me. I'm happy for being who I am, I chose my life to be like this. But what I don't understand is, why people can't accept it? *sigh* I love my family, I really do but I really want that they can accept me for who I am. I'm not forcing them but it would be nice if they learn to accept it slowly. I'm thinking about this for a long time, thinking of telling them. The only problem is that I'm afraid it would bring this family down. I can't bring myself to that situation. Should I tell them? Should I come out to them? Should I?
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