what is happening between us?

Okay, its been a while but since Jessica got into that accident we seem to fall apart. And yesterday I asked her a stupid question and might be one of the reason we fall apart. I hate this. So, December with her is so not going to come. So much for being happy for once in my life. She told me yesterday that she adopted a baby and named him Gabriel Michael. She's the mom, i'm with her, so I'm the parent too? I don't know. With this situation, I don't know anymore. So, I've got a feeling that me and her are going to be over soon. I could die..ughh! Same thing happen to October last year, you know, with Vanessa. Its such a coincidence that is October now and this happen. OKAY, I HATE OCTOBER AND THATS FINAL! I have a MUET test tomorrow and this thing is so bothering me :'( I'm stressing out here! I just need explanation from her. I need her to tell me that she doesn't care anymore, she doesn't feel the same way anyway, tell me she doesn't love me anymore then i'll be on my way leaving for good. Only if she intends to say that all. But I got a feeling of it. Dammit! I'm so sad! I hate being sad, I hate crying, I hate being like this! :'(